TTC#3

It has been just about 4 years since I had my daughter and was forced to have my tubes tied. I didn't want to do it, but for my whole life I was raised by a toxic parent and therefore she was so manipulative and blackmailed me a lot. So my DH and I got our own place last year and we have been TTC for basically 2 years or so. I know what ya'll are probably thinking, you got your tubes tied it won't happen, but it will happen. Yes I know it's a slim chance but It's one I'm going to take. Last year my dad passed away. He had liver cancer and hep C. his liver was damaged and so gone that he couldn't get a transplant. He was 67 years old when he died. So I want to give my son a baby brother and name him after my dad. I was daddy's lil girl. So in his memory I want to have another boy to name him after. I also have endometriosis due to the tubal ligation. It really sucks! We are going to do whatever it takes to conceive again.

To Thomas

How can I say this, so that you will understand? I was very and highly pissed at you when you left the way you did. I was extremely pissed that you took my laptop and Jayden's video games and movie. I cried for days trying to figure out why you would do such a thing like that to us, when you claim that you loved us and how we meant so much to you. I have been trying to move on with my life and forget all about you, but I can't for the fact that I had your daughter and part of me will always care and love you. But you hurt me and Jayden and something like that doesn't go away ever. You are very stubborn and hard headed. But I can't get you out of my mind. I may consider taking you back if you do a complete 360 and stop blaming others for your actions. Yes I miss Abby too, but you are the one that said Shannon would be a good choice to adopt Abby. So you can't go blaming her, or my mom or me. It is all on you. It is your actions that had her end up with Shannon. You knew that none of us had the money or the place to bring a baby too. You couldn't provide at the time and I wasn't working and I was living with my parents and they didn't want another baby in the house. You should have be the man and said "You know what, since we have a cild on the way I am gonna go and get a second job and get us a place. But no you didn't do that til it was too late. Yes I am pissed at you for not stepping up and being a REAL MAN! Until you can prove to me that you are a REAL MAN, I am staying single. And if someone who is a REAL MAN comes into my life then I will go with them. Til then I am single. Yes I wanted to marry you but you never proved nothing to me and to Jayden. Jayden is the one suffering the most. He trusted you and wanted you to be his daddy, but you failed him. So yes he hates you and doesn't like you, cause of what you did and how you took his video games and movie. He doesn't like you. He told me yesterday that he didn't like you and how you should be arrested for stealing his games and movie. So if you really wanna make it up to him and to me, then you are gonna have to work your ass off to prove yourself and redeem yourself, not only to us but to my family. And you are really gonna have to prove it to yourself and to your kids too. My parents worked hard their whole life and even after they had my sister and me. They made sure we had things and were fed and took us on trips. If you don't work hard your whole life then you get nowhere in life. You have to work hard to accomplish things and to provide! If you can't provide then you're not fit to be a dad. I may not have a paying job but being a fulltime mommy is a job in it's self. I do get paid in hugs and kisses by Jayden. I am the only parent he sees daily. So I am both his mom and dad. He does fine without a dad. You have lost our trust. If you wanna earn it back then you have a lot to do to earn it. Let's see if you can keep your word to prove yourself. ~Sheena

Baby Fever

I am having major baby fever right now. I am missing my baby girl. She's 8 months old and was adopted by her aunt in NY. :'( I really want her back. If it wasn't for my mom, We would have her right now. So now I'm having major baby fever and want another one.

Wish someone would help us get her back!

Expecting Baby #2 and Planning Wedding

So my Fiance Thomas and I were suppose to get married on Valentine's Day next year, but we had to change the date, cause we are expecting our first child together on Feb 8th 2015. So we changed our Wedding Date to April 11, 2015. I took a HPT on Father's Day and it came out positive We are very happy and excited to be expecting. Not gonna post nothing on Facebook bout it til I have my first ultrasound! Can't wait to find out if its a boy or girl. We're hoping for a girl. We have so much to do and so little time. We still have to get a place of our own! We're hoping to get one really soon!

Can't take it no more!

I swear I can't take my parents' shit no more! Especially my mom's. all she does is start arguments and then threatens me and says I'm not fit to be a mom, when she's the psycho one. 

When my son was a toddler she almost drowned him twice in the tub. I don't trust her what so ever. She's the one who needs to see a psychiatrist or something, cause she always lashes out at me and she does this in front of my son.

Yesterday she even had my son say shit bout me. I wish that someone would take my mom and lock her up in an asylum cause she is crazy. She is a nut job and needs to be locked up. I'm the one who runs errands for my parents, I do the grocery shopping. Every time my parents want cigarettes or some liquor I'm the one that has to get it cause they are too damn lazy to do it themselves!

I can't wait to get the fuck out of Florida! It sucks and people down here suck and they are rude! I just want to start my new life already! I can't wait til I'm married to my best friend!